I'll take door number...

Keep it Simple Stupid...

2010-08-09T13:38:00.000-07:00

So, over the last few weeks or so, I have had a great amount of time to sit back and ponder on the important things in life. I spent much of that time evaluating myself and what I am doing with my life. But, this time around I found that I was looking more to the future. The thing that kept coming back into my mind what how complicated my life was getting and the worry of how these complications were leaking into my future and influencing how I will live my life. Now, I am not saying that I have a complicated or even difficult life, but considering where I am in my journey, and how I am living, I feel that I am bogging myself down with things that should not be in my life. Debt, bills, cars, clothes, entertainment, food, and just money in general are the things that are controlling my life. Every move that I make seems to be motivated by one of these things. It seems that every paycheck goes to things that I don't really need, but more to things that I just want at the moment. Accessories, upgrades, and improvements on the things that I own. Fancy toys, and new electronics are topping my wish lists as I swipe my credit card. My life is being controlled by things. And now, not only is it stress that I am dealing with, but it is debt. Money is controlling my life, and more importantly controlling my emotions. It has been so silly of me to not realize that all this stress and control was self inflicted. I was the main cause for all craziness that has been happening in my life.

A theme of simplicity has been running through my mind, and it has begun to infect my priorities. Just recently I read an article about a couple that decided to simplify their lives. They got rid of their cars, moved to a smaller home, downsized their wardrobes, and own 4 plates, cups, and bowls, along with 2 pots and pans. They even got rid of their television. But, above all of this they got out of over $30,000 worth of debt! Now, they are spending money on traveling together, and helping fund their nieces and nephews education, not to mention that they now have tens of thousands in savings! This story and situation is a little extreme for me, but it has also sparked some inspiration in me to find a better way to simplify my life. Now, I don't plan on getting rid of everything I own and go live in a tree, but I feel that I can simplify my life so that I can live within my means, and find joy in living debt free, and having the freedom that I need to enjoy life's pleasures like traveling.

Being cautious about simplifying and knowing why you are changing they way you live is very important. I am trying to focus on changing not so I can have a ton of money in the bank. That would not eliminate the fact that money is controlling my life. I look at this as a benefit rather than the motivation and purpose. One huge motivator in my life are those friends that influence me positively. My dear and close friend Jason Lucas is just one of those friends. He is constantly trying to improve his life and is letting others know about his discoveries to becoming a simpler, stronger and more directed person. He is not only changing his life and improving, more importantly he is influencing those around him through his example! This is exactly what he has done to me. Jason is an inspiration to me to become the better person, and to seek the finer things in life. I am looking to simplify, relieve stress, and more importantly to me, be able to serve and help others. I can do this when I start turning my focus away from the negative and controlling stressful things of my life to the things that matter most. Service, family, friends, peace of mind, and happiness.

There is a principle to be learned from all of this... living by rules, guidelines or even commandments do not constrict or control a persons life, but rather they allow for guidance, freedom, and relief from those things that can bog us down. These guidelines construct a path by which we can follow and base our lives around. Drifting from guidelines and rules causes stress through uncertainty and unnecessary trials and stress. This is what I have been doing lately. Buying without thought, living life without a schedule, goals, or purpose has allowed me to walk blindly and to hope for the best instead of working to simplify, serve, and follow goals and guidelines.

I anticipate this time in my life to be a changing point from wanting everything in the world, to having everything that I need. I want to be debt free, and live simply so that I can save and live a life away from debt and stress. I want to allow myself to be free to serve and connect with others around me. I want to become an asset to my friends and family, and not a topic of worry or burden. I know all of this will come from the choices that I make, and the determination to follow the goals and guidelines that I have set for myself. If I am going to have stress in my life, I want it to come from outside sources that I have no control over. How silly to bring stress and trials on yourself when you have complete control.

This is a time of experimentation. It is a time for me to redesign how I am living. It is a chance for me to incorporate beautiful fundamentals in my everyday living so I can not only simplify my life, but come closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ by focusing on them, simplifying my life, and becoming the man that they have created me, and wanted me to become! I choose to simplify. I choose the door that will allow me to serve! I choose the door because I want to!

Brooke

2010-07-21T17:17:00.001-07:00

It was early last week that I got word that one of my dearest friends was ill and would not make it through the next day. Brooke had suffered from Cystic Fibrosis for her whole life. She lived well beyond what was expected. She lived through many treatments, and even a liver transplant. She was a real fighter. But, it seemed that her illness was taking it's last toll, which would be her life.

I met Brooke about three years ago at a Halloween dance. I was dressed as a cop, but it quickly turned into me being a "hot cop". I was new to the singles ward, and did not know many people. I was introduced to a girl in my ward named Brooke, who just happened to be a real "hot cop". What a coincidence, and it was then that we became very close to each other. But, if you want to go even farther back you find that we had probably met before. We were born on the same day, in the same hospital in Utah, more than 22 years earlier. Now we were dancing together at a Halloween party. What a small world we live in.

For the next 3 years we hung out, and were very close. I spent almost every evening at her place after work playing games, watching movies, laying on her water bed talking about life and making animal noises. She was not able to leave her home very much because she was on oxygen. Her little lungs were failing her, and she was waiting for a double lung transplant. It would be a transplant that would never happen. I had no problem spending all my spare time at her place, I knew that she had no options, and that I loved her to much to leave here alone.

She would call me in the middle of the night because she thought she heard someone creeping outside her window, or because she saw a mouse run across her bedroom floor. She always seemed to look to me to be her little protector, although I don't think I did too much. We were close friends, and we shared a bond that is something that I will never forget.

She entered the hospital just a couple of weeks ago. She wasn't feeling well. It was there that she went into a coma, and then her lungs began to shut down. She was put on a respirator and life support. She would never wake up. She became unresponsive, and her family knew that her time was short. It was at 8:30am on July 13th, that Brooke Alisha Porter left this fail existence to join her Heavenly Parents above, never to live another day in her broken weak body.

I hurt so much inside to know that I would not be able to be there by her side. I was torn because I was not able to say goodbye. I was just too far away. With or without me, she was ready to go, she was ready to move on to bigger and better things.

I will miss Brooke. She was so beautiful and talented. She loved life, and never complained. She had a knowledge of the greater things in life. She allowed me to cry, and to laugh. She helped me to love and to forgive. She taught me to see the beauty in all the world around me. She was an anchor and a light that has burned into me that I will never forget. She will be missed, but she will never be forgotten. I look forward to the day when I will be able to see her again, and to greet her on the other side of the veil. She was a sweet spirit and angel. She chose the better part. She is now with her Heavenly Father, and she is blessing the lives of those on the other side just like she blessed so many live on this side. I love you Brooke! I will miss you! Till we meet again!

Change is good...

2010-06-01T11:04:00.000-07:00

So, after three years of going to BYU-Idaho, I have decided to stay here on my off track. I have always gone home to work from July to January, but I have found that it's time for change. I have mulled over this for a little while, but I always knew that someday I would stay here in Rexburg. I know that this sounds silly, but this is kind of a scary thing for me. I'm not one to make big decisions lightly, and if I could keep thing predictable, life would be much better for me. But, this decision on the other hand has been pretty easy for me. There was a little anxiety, but with the help of my amazing friends Jason and James, and the wise council of my incredible mother, I made the choice to stay.
Staying here means not working at Applebee's in Spokane again, and not going to the Havana Ward. This is probably that hardest part of my decision to stay in Rexburg. Being here means that I will need to get a job and make money. It also means that I will also take some classes and get some credits towards my major. I look forward mostly to the fact that I will continue to live with my best friend James, and be here to sing with From the Heart. When I get a little down about not going back to Spokane, I look to the people and activities that I am going to do that are going to make life so much better.
So, I'm taking the door that leads to change. Its not the easiest door to go through, but it is the one that I know will lead to the best experiences. Let's hope I chose wisely.

From the Heart...

2010-03-31T20:47:00.000-07:00

This post has been a long time in the making. My second semester here at BYU Idaho, one of my good friends in my ward told me about his choir that I should audition for. I had no idea what I was in for. So, at the last moment possible, I ran to the building on campus where the auditions were being held, and winged it. I auditioned. I didn't make it. I was upset about not making it, and felt that it was their loss. Needless to say, I was too prideful to see why I didn't make it. The next semester, I was personally asked by the choir president to audition. I turned him down with some useless excuse. More out of being burned from the semester before. Almost a year and a half passed by and I returned back to Rexburg to go back to school. I was asked once again to audition for the group. After so much time had passed and a little repentance, I found myself rushing once again to the building on campus where the auditions were being held. I made it.
The group is called From The Heart. It is a choir comprised of 24 singers, that for each semester creates an hour long musical program meant to be performed for firesides. The group is not affiliated with the school, and is completely run by students. Music selections are chosen especially for their power to testify of Christ.
I have never been in group that has brought more strength to my testimony than this choir. This experience and the people that I have had a chance to sing with have not just become a part of my testimony, but it now comprises a part of the foundation of my testimony. It has not only been a blessing to sing to hundreds of people over the course of this semester, but it has been a power that has lifted me from deep sorrows. It has given me purpose here, and helped me to see more clearly the love that my Savior Jesus Christ has for me. I cannot express my love for the amazing people that I have been able to stand with and sing. They are such a light in my life! I feel like there is this little flame that burns inside of me. It lights my path in this life, but sometimes it feels insufficient through trials and hardships. Since joining this group, I feel like I have added my little flame with the flames of those in the group, and now I have this huge fire within me burning from the amazing power that comes from the testimonies that radiate from those who have chosen to sing in this choir.
Although it took almost 2 years to get myself prepared, I find that this will probably be one of the greatest highlights of my college experience. I am eternally thankful that the Lord has put this blessing in my path, and that I chose this to become a part of my existence and experience.

My new baby...

2010-03-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

It was a long and difficult labor. The decision to bring one into my life wasn't easy either. It was a long process dealing with decision after decision, trying to figure out when and were it would happen. I was scared, and so nervous how it would turn out. It was going to be my first one, and I had never really had to take care of one 24/7. Mind you I had many chances to be around them and get to know them, but I was taking my first big step to becoming a serious and mature and responsible human being.

And when I least expected it, it happened. It was time! There she was, sitting in the corner of the store with a big bright green tag on her calling out to me like a moth to the flame!I knew that she was the piano of my dreams! Her bright white keys practically grinning at me sealed the deal. Now, just to clarify, she is not an ACTUAL piano, but a digital piano. The sound of fully digital, but the keys are weighted and is 88 long. She is compact and beautiful, sleek and shiny. the perfect size and feel, I just had to have her.

So I am a proud new owner of a piano. I look at this as something that I will have for that rest of my life. I am excited to see this as a tool that I can use to magnify this little piano talent of mine.

Mind Games...

2010-01-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

So, I will not make this post about a girl I am crazy about. I think I have made enough of those, and I dont think you want to hear me rant about a girl that I am mad about. Just a side note before I get into the real topic of this post, I am thinking about her constantly, and I can't seem to get over her. Enough said.

I am losing weight. It is an interesting thing for me, because I have never been to that point on my life when I had weight to loose. I have always been the extremely skinny kid, and could eat as much as I wanted and couldn't gain a pound. Things have changed, and now my body has decided that it needs to hold onto pounds that I don't need.

So, before I get too far behind, I have decided to jump on the health wagon and get my physical health under control. I don't think I am fat, but I do feel that I have room to improve, and so why not now?

I have lost about 20 pounds in the last 6 months, and the weight is still coming off. But I am not satisfied with the weight loss, I need to build muscle. I dont want to be freakishly huge, but I would like to fill in a little.

This is something that I feel is very good for me. I am a very distracted person, and I get my mind hooked on "unhealthy" things. I day dream, and I get my emotions all crazy. Watching what I eat and how I exercise is distracting enough, and I am finding myself not only distracted but focused. I am finding out that I am not going to get everything I want in life, but I do know that I can control some things about my life, and my health is one of them.

So, I'll take the healthy door.

Awkward...

2009-11-19T23:13:00.000-08:00

So, I am proud to admit that I am peculiar person. I know that I am much different from more 24 year olds of the world, and even in the church I might add. I have kind of always tried to hide my religion from the public eye, but it has always been in vain due to how weird I really am. Strangeness pours from ears and weirdness radiates from my presence.
Tonight was one of those nights when my peculiarity was questioned. It was not the first time that people have asked why I am so different. And when I tell them that I'm a Mormon, the barrage of questions are fired in my direction almost all at once. Tonight at work I was almost interrogated about my sexual life. First off, AWKWARD!!!! (probably more so for the reader having to read about Chachi's Sex life) Questions about sex with girlfriends or other very graphic questions that don't need to be repeated were asked. Now, I believe most of us in the Mormon faith have been asked a time or two about our sexual practices from those not of our faith, but I doubt many have been asked in the manner that I did. Not only were the questions so blunt and frank, but they were also posed in front of all of my co-workers in the kitchen. It was literally a moment of Stand-still while everyone waited to hear what my answers would be. The pressure was so insane that I almost just started to laugh out loud in one of those fits of insanity because it was so awkward and uncomfortable.
Needless to say, I answered all of the questions with a yes or no response, and left no time for thought. I feel it is so necessary to answer quickly and without hesitation as to leave behind any sign of doubt. Many were dumbfounded,some just kind of winced and went back to work. I on the other hand turned bright red, and went back to work somewhere in the back room as to hide my embarrassed face. Although I may have appeared to be ashamed of my answer (mainly due to the fact that it was some public forum on Chachi) I did not feel ashamed inside. I felt a little higher afterwords because of the fact that I practice what I preach and live what I believe. There is something to be said about standing up for ones beliefs, and I have to say that the personal satisfaction that I felt tonight was immense and gratifying to know that I stood up for faith and beliefs. Not just in front of a curious friend, but my entire body of co-workers.
Awkward?
Yes.
Worth it?
Absolutely!

The key to happiness...

2009-11-01T20:52:00.000-08:00

I like Chocolate... Mainly because of its color and texture. (as long as its not burnt) I also like ice cream. Its my downfall, I always have enough room for it no matter how much food I have eaten prior to my ice cream feast. I like lasagna... especially when the cheese on the top is just a little crispy/burnt. The steamy layers are so tasty and meaty. How could you not want that in your tummy?

I like pie... mostly every kind, but the cream pies touch my heart in a way that only a cream pie could. I love cheese and its melty deliciousness. I like to eat noodles and asian tasty things, No matter how much fat there is, as long as its fried and from Panda Express I will consume it!

Pudding caresses my heart like a peacock feather in the wind. Its soft and gooey. Chicken is amazing and comes in so many different ways and syles... just like a secret agent. I love milk and Dr Pepper. It fills my tum tum with happiness.

Life is so good with a full tummy, It sedates me and makes me feel warm and toasty. It makes all my cares away and helps me to dream about more food and future lovers. it fills my mouth with goodness that stops me from saying things that will put me at the scene of a crime or in the line of wrath of a disgruntaled female.

Life is so much better with food. Life is even better when the food is inside of me.

The nagging in my head...

2009-10-25T00:23:00.000-07:00

So there are a few things that go through my mind several times a day. These things are usually all the same, or at least cover the same topic. The majority of these things are pretty trivial and pointless to the rest of the world, but in Chachi's world they seem to be important due to how many times a day I think about them. For example; Food, Paraguay, a new car, becoming a weather man, girls, food (did I say that already?) church, what animal I would be if I could choose, and ice cream (although I guess that could go under the "food" category). Mind you some of the thought that I put into these topics are short and unimportant, but with others they can be much more complex and lengthy.
Lately it has been about girls... and not just girls in general, but one in particular. All of you who read this I'm sure don't know her, but every once and a while she pops into my head, and then my mind runs wild with ideas of the future for her and I, and then when I come back into reality I crash like a 747 that had a flock of Canada geese crash through the windshield of the cockpit that was being flown by a pilot that is deathly allergic to foul of any sort.
I guess I think way too much about her, but when it comes down to it, I'm just a wienie cuz I don't ask her out, or that it will never happen and I'm not fooling anyone. I feel like sometimes its much less painful to imagine and dream and then realize that its not true, than to try and and get shot down in real life. Is that something she would do? I dont know. Do I want to find out? No. Is it worth it? Only if she felt the same way. I guess I'm just a typical insecure guy that either can't commit, or is not willing to commit. Maybe someday I'll be able to show her this blog entry that only 2 people will read, and show her how much I thought about her, even before we were together. Wouldn't that just melt her heart!... there I go dreaming again!
So all of you how dream about the perfect significant other, join with me in saying that there is no harm in the dream, but there are also no results from just dreaming either.

My Neighbor...

2009-10-13T22:02:00.000-07:00

As I approached my apartment after walking home from work last week, I glanced at my car only to find a note on the windshield. I thought to myself that it could either be from a stalker, (which I kind of would not mind right now) or a note from someone telling me that they hit my car while I was not around. Unfortunately it was the latter. My neighbor who lives in the apartment above me had left me the note letting me know that she had backed up into my rear left bumper scraping off the paint and transferring my blue paint ever so nicely onto her pretty little silver Acura. Needless to say I was sad to see something like this happening to my Kenneth, but at the same time relieved to find that the perpetrator was honest enough to leave me a note. (I would have noticed my bumper paint on her bumper. Good thing she said something or else I would have had to open up a can on her.)
Information was given to me, and now her insurance is paying for Kenneth's visit to the shop to get a new paint job on the bumper! Over the last week I have had time to think about how annoying it was to think that someone could be so careless not to even look over their shoulder and check to make sure that they would not hit anything. Sure, insurance will take care of it, but its just another thing that I have to do now. Why can't I get a break? Why does it feel like I am in some constant battle with silly fools? What am I, fly paper for morons?!?!?! Needless to say, I have got myself really worked up about the whole situation and have really began to harbor some ill feelings towards my neighbor and all other dim witted people in the world other than myself.
Then last night as I was attempting to sleep I heard very clearly a voice. It was someone singing, but I could not distinguish from where or from whom. I was sure that it was not my roommate Steve from the room next door, unless he had a very high soprano voice that he wasn't telling me about. Then I realized that it was coming from my neighbor upstairs. She was singing alone in her room at nearly midnight, probably attempting to lullaby herself to sleep. Now, it wasn't very beautiful, and she was obviously a "shower singer". Initially, I was very annoyed at the fact that I had to listen to old religious spirituals from the over-the-hill single woman from the apartment above me when it was clearly late and her neighbors were attempting to sleep. I did the whole "pillow over the head" thing which did not work, and then I contemplated what she would do if I started to bang on my ceiling with the handle of my broom.
Then is came to me... she must be lonely. She must wish that there was someone there with her to maybe sing to her, or have a nice pillow talk session with her. I thought about how old she was and how seemingly silly it was for her to be singing like that in bed. It seemed to me that only children did that sort of thing. At least that's what I and my siblings did. Then I realized how lonely she really was. How young she felt inside to sing so loudly. She suddenly became a real person in my mind. A person with a past and feelings. A person like me. I suddenly stopped caring about the car situation and my anger towards the world. I suddenly felt a rush or sympathy and understanding come over me as I listened to a 5o something year old woman sing alone in the middle of the night to herself. Not only did my feelings toward her change, but I fell fast asleep to her lullabys... her songs of understanding.

My Girlfriend...

2009-09-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

After a long semester of planning and anticipating what would be an amazing break from school and great fall and winter, I arrived home to fine that thing would not go the way I had planned. (like they ever do.) I had been communicating with my old job at the hotel for a while, and they had confirmed that they would be hiring me back again. I had spoken with a good friend who let me know that I would be able to live with him also. Plans were going well. I would have a great job, and an amazing roommate. My break couldn't get any better.

When I pulled into Spokane everything started to unravel and fall apart. My job filled my position and would not be hiring me back, and the place I thought I would be moving into became occupied and I was booted to the curb. I was unemployed and was sleeping on my parents couch. Within a week I was living in an old RV in my parents backyard still unemployed. It had the distinct feeling that I was living in a van down by the river. I was on the opposite end of the spectrum when it came to the plans that I had while still in school, and so I felt like a complete failure, and knew that my break from school couldn't get any worse.

Over the course of a month I lived in my new home. A real fixer-upper. I slowly became attached to her, and I named her Leslie. I began to refer to her as my girlfriend since we spent so much time together. I spent the month cleaning her and updating and fixing her inside and out. But as the days passed it began to get cold, and the space began to feel smaller and smaller. I was feeling as though the relationship was having an negative effect on my life.

But things never stay the same, and change came. I am now living in my new apartment. I am also working full time and doing everything that I planned on doing, just in a different way is all. I guess that's the lesson. Things work out, just not always in the planned way. Leslie and I are still friends, but we are not seeing each other anymore. Its a sad thing really... that the girl that I am writing about is an old RV and not a real girl. I guess that's how pathetic I am. Oh well. If I were not so pathetic I would not have met Leslie. Perhaps I'll blog about a real girl someday?

Adjusting...

2009-09-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

So, this is something that I have not done in a while... almost a year now, but I have been inspired by a good friend to get back on the horse and try again. Thank you. I always seem to need a little push and a shove every once and a while to get me going and being productive.
Being back in Spokane has caused yet again a great change within me. Exposure to new things, people, ideas, and lights have caused some adjustment in how I live. I seem to believe that I have a pretty good grasp on what my imperfections are, but then when somebody yells in my face an error that I have made, it opens doors to improvement.
But what am I rambling about?... I guess it all boils down to change. I am living in constant change, and not constant consistency. I'm finding friends, making moves, healing hearts, making money, securing sanity, fighting fear, and learning love. It's a constant adjustment to the shifting sands of my life... never mind how small the shifting or the sand may be. I feel that settling is something to never be achieved. There is really no such thing... at least that I can tell. It's change, and I guess it's all about how I learn to react to the changes in my little life. And you know what? I love it! I love the fact that I am constantly in some sort of battle, no matter how trivial it may seem to the outside world. It pushes me along, and does not allow me to settle, relax, become lazy, and then get fat. So I'll take the door that makes me work. I'll take the door that challenges how I feel. I'll take the door that helps me loose my love handles and
ba-donk-a-donk. I'll take the door that makes me change.
So there you have it. Another deep look into the dark recesses of Chathum's mind. Another glimpse of how this crazy mind functions. (Please don't hurt yourself with all the excitement that you are feeling right now) I'll be doing this more often, as long as I have someone who will read it other than Jerry the bald steel worker who lives in my mind.

SNOW!!!!

2008-11-29T00:01:00.000-08:00

So, the snow is finally here! It was snowing for a while today and the snow was not sticking at all, but the snow persisted, and lo and behold, the snow stuck! Yeah! I actually really love the snow. I think it makes things look really pretty, especially out in nature. I like driving in it too. Its a fun challenge, but I don't like the scary factor. I feel I'm an ok driver in the snow... especially with my jimmy. Its got 4X4 on the fly, and it comes in handy. That car saved my life so many times in Rexburg... the capital of snow and ice for Idaho. It is a good reliable car, and I'm thankful for it.

This means that the official snow sport season has started for the Inland Northwest. Skiing, snowmobiling, sledding, and so much more! I am dumping my snowboard this year, and gunna try my hand at skiing. I really love snow sports, and I always leave the mountain pissed off after snow boarding. I've been boarding for years, and I still really suck! So I'm gunna try out skiing. I think I'll like it. Steven said that he would take me up this year and teach me. That'll be so sweet!

Not to mention the sledding and tubing ahead! It will be a great winter... although to be honest it feels like its been a short summer. I guess that's what living in Rexburg will do to ya.

There is one downside to the snow today... I still have not put up the Christmas light on the house. I always seem to be that person that is up on the roof putting up the lights in the snow storm. I really hope that his first cover will melt away just long enough for me to get the lights on the house, and deal with the inside stuff while its icy outside. I'm such a procrastinator!

I'm really thankful for the beautiful, and well-rounded four seasons that Spokane has. I love having a taste of each season, and seeing their beauty. Its so inspiring to me to watch the trees change every year. Its almost magic. I couldn't imagine living in a place where it is only one season all year round. I'm sure it would be convenient because of the consistency, but no excitement, and nothing to look forward to when it comes to the changes in nature. I love the four seasons!

Self-Induced Food Coma

2008-11-27T20:05:00.000-08:00

Well, it's Thanksgiving, and believe it or not, I am working. It's not as bad as it sounds, and to even make it sound worse my family left me today to go eat at my uncles place in Idaho, leaving me all alone. Sounds pretty bad eh? Well, not so my dear reader...(you know who you are) I actually had a great morning wrestling with the ping pong table trying to get it set up for the days festivities, and getting ready to spend the early afternoon with Skylar and his family. It was really great of him to invite me over to have dinner with him and his family. They ate early in the day allowing me to be able to stuff my face and get to work on time. His family was amazing and really kind to (i didn't expect anything different) and I felt right at home. Played a little bump in the driveway with his cousins, and it was a little embarrassing seeing how i am almost 100% non-athletically inclined, and so I was kind of awkward with the ball. Nothing new, but it was fun. We stuffed our faces like the rest of the country, and loved every minute and calorie. I'm so thankful for Skylar and his friendship and hospitality towards me. He's a great Friend, and I really do appreciate him and his kindness. Awesome Friend!

But the time was short, and here I am back at the good old Davenport doing my job. It was not my first choice to work today, but I guess i just have to deal with it. First off, its dead. There are few calls coming in, and so its nice to not have much work, but at the same time painful. It is real easy to be upset at the situation and be grumpy, but i have taken a different stance on this one. I'm happy being here... although it is not the first door number I would have picked.

Life is good. Its not ever what I planned it to be, and I always seem to be ten steps behind in ever thing. But it is a good life, and I life that I cant complain about. It is such a blessing to being going to the school that I'm going to, and to be in the ward that I am in, having the friends that I have that care and love me, and treat me so well. My family is such a blessing. I love them to death! I am just so thankful to my father in heaven for the path that he has put me on, and for the desires I have to push me down that path. Its not easy, and it sucks to be blind sided by so many challenges and trials, but man life is good! I am just so thankful, and grateful. I just cant contain it. Its an amazing life, and I cant wait to live what the Lord has in store to me. Most of all I am thankful for my Father in Heaven, and for his guiding hand in my life. This is not a life that I have given to myself. This is a blessing by him, and the opportunities that I have had in my life have only come through him that I worship and love very much. I cant deny this, and fact that he is so real, and not just an idea or hope. He is real, and everything that happens in my life comes from him. It is truly a day of thanksgiving! Thank You!

Growing up sucks... but amazing!

2008-11-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

So a three day weekend is the greatest. Its such a great time to just relax. Every time i have this big of a break from work, I always promise myself that I will do my laundry. I never do. I find myself actually wearing everything I have until there is nothin left for me to wear. Its a sad thing. When i was on the mish, I would refuse to clean the dishes, and so me and my companion would eat off of one side of the plate, and then eat off the other side later, thereby doubling our plates capacity. I know... nasty. But hey, it worked! After a while i got the cleaning bug, and have had one ever since. I guess it comes with t he realization that when you are on your own you have to do EVERYTHING. I know that this is nothing new, and that someone has told me that I would be responsible for myself someday, I guess I just never wanted to accept that. I have been kinda keeping tabs on my maturity lately believe it or not, and have watched me take up the mom and dad responsibilities, and slowly become and adult. Its a good feeling to be independent, but at the same time I loved having someone take care of me.

School was a great teacher of this, but being home, I have kind of got lazy. Not extremely lazy, just a little lax in my habits. Not to freak out the only person that reads this, but I am a clean freak. Not to be confused with a germ freak. I like things clean and organized. I love a clutter free house and things in their places. It makes me feel like I'm in control some how, and I work and play, and relax so much better when I'm in a clean environment. But here's the thing, I'm finding my teenage self coming out and wanting to throw my crap on the floor and be lazy. (which I've been doing lately. Don't tell anyone !) Its a good thing, but when it comes time to clean i hate it! It is not fun at all, and cleaning things up at the time the mess is made is much easier.

I'm pretty close to being an adult. One of my big wake up calls that I was growing up was when i was packing my stuff up to go home from school, and I have a whole box for medicine and first aid stuff. I HAVE MY OWN MEDICINE CABINET! How disgusting is that! I guess all there to do now is school, marriage and babies. Ew. Not yet at least.

I have to work this thanksgiving. I work from 3 to 11pm, and my family is going out of town for the weekend so i will be all alone. It sounds sad, but I'm not too disturbed. I'm gunna have an early thanksgiving dinner with Skylers family, and so at least I'll eat with someone.

I'm thankful for my life and the path that it is on. I'm thankful for the amazing chance that I have to chose for myself the things that I want to do, and be what I wanna be. Life is amazing, and it is anything i want it to be!

Time Management...

2008-11-22T23:54:00.000-08:00

Finding a balance in my life is easy. I don't wanna sound cocky, but since there is nothing really going on in my life, it is easy to find that balance between work, play and rest. Well, today was one of those challenging days that tested the "balance" that I have seemed to have established. Working till 7am, sleeping till 8:30am, cleaning the church building till 9:45am then sleeping till 11am, then going to practice a special musical number at 12:00 for an hour, and an amazing and completely straight man date with Joe to Ming Wahs for lunch, was some what trying and exhausting! I was so tired by the time that I got home that I just collapsed till almost 7pm! It was amazing. Now being at work, its time for my quiet time.

Working the overnight shift can be pretty boring for some people... even me. I am a very social person. I love being around people and being in the spotlight. But this over night shift twice a week is a bit of a breather for me. It is a break from the craziness that goes on in this hotel, and to have some time to myself and get paid for it. I don't want to brag, but i feel like i am a pretty intellectual person, and I like to think about life. I spend a good time of my week contemplating about things and just having some Chathum time. It helps me to resolve my inner issues, and helps me be a better person.

I was asked this last week to give a talk in church this coming week, and was told to speak on any topic that I feel prompted to speak on. I have decided to speak on having joy and happiness throughout life. I want to talk about being happy and finding the joyful parts of life even during the hardships that we experience. This is a very close personal and sensitive issue for me. I have struggled with emotional issues for most of my life, and I have excepted these issues as one of the many trials in my life and treat it like anything else. I don't let myself become a victim of my depression, but embrace the challenge and rely on a higher power to sustain me, and not rely on myself. Through this trial, I have found the immense happiness that comes when I have changed my attitude to a happy disposition, and allow myself to be happy on the outside even though it may not match up with what is going on inside. So many blessings have come into my life by being happy about everything, and letting others know that I am a happy person. I am a thankful person. This has been the strongest part of my struggle to find joy in everything. Being thankful for everything... even the bad things has created true happiness... not just a front and fake smile. Being thankful has helped me find the light in the darkest times of my life. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for, whether it be for your family, friends, job, school, air, or sheep dogs... there is always something that you can be thankful for. I hope my talk turns out as good as it sounds in my head.

I know that this post has been random and all over the place, but oh well. Life goes on and I will write another post later, and maybe it will be a better one. I just I type what I feel, and hopefully I will create a more structured blog that will have a better flow. Until then... deal with it!

Dang, after today, I am thankful for sleep and beds. I have this sweet sleeping mask that covers my eyes while I sleep during the day. I stole it from my little sister. Its like this black velvet, and embroidered on the front in purple it says "beauty sleep." I am thankful for fact that I can sleep so well, and feel so good. Sometimes after a long day, I get into bed and just start freaking out because I love my bed so much, and it feels so good to be under the covers and not in an office in front of a computer screen. I love sleep, and I love amazing soft beds. Thank you bed, and thank you girly sleep mask!

I don't know when to take a break

2008-11-21T23:58:00.000-08:00

So for the most part I'm a pretty chill person. I like to take things easy, but i am constantly finding myself uneasy, and eager to do something. I served my mission for two years, and every minute of that was planned out and very busy. I had my days planned out by the half hour, and i would plan my days weeks in advance. It was crazy to say the least. Now i have no agenda, and so i do what i want, when i want. But its kind of driving me crazy. I find that I really need to stay busy. I am always cleaning, organizing, working or playing. I find myself on the couch doing nothing less and less, and out and about more and more. Since I'm not in school, I do have alot of free time on my hands, and so its easy to be board and get into trouble... or just sleep all day. I'm not sure why i complain about work so much, cuz in all reality it is a good thing... mentally and financially. I couldn't imagine not having a job. I have a good friend that is jobless and doing all he can to get another job, and I just feel so bad for him, and figure that it must be so hard staying busy without work. But knowing him, he's probably busy with his own personal endeavors... he's pretty creative. If anyone can handle being without a job, its Joe. Work is ever so exciting,(lie) but i realize that there are a ton of people out there that would die for my job and pay, so i am grateful... not because of others, but because i am genuinely thankful for my employment. The Davenport rocks!

School is coming up here pretty soon. January 7th to be exact. I'm stoked to get back to Rexburg and party it up! I really miss that place, and being back at home makes me realize how much that place really means to me. I'm a psychology major at the moment with a pre-med emphasis. Its pretty cool, and more than anything I wanna get into med school and become a doctor. I don't strike most people as a doctor type, but i want to be one not because I'm smart(which I'm not) but because i have a genuine desire to help others. I'm sure all of the jaws will drop when i walk into my 10 year high school anniversary and tell people I'm a doctor. It'll be sweet. But even more sweeter knowing that I will be fulfilling a dream of mine. Going into medicine has not always been the plan. I always thought that I was too dumb to be a doctor, but after serving a mission and surviving the two hardest years of my life doing the most important work there is to do, I realize that I can do anything now. I know that a person like me will have to work extra hard at it, but i know that it will be that extra beneficial to me in the future and even more rewarding knowing that I am serving others and helping those in need every day. I'm only a sophomore in college, and i have a really long way to go, but for some reason i am ready for it, and not a bit discouraged at the fact that becoming a doctor is a long way off.

I've decided that I am going to end off each of my posts with something that I am thankful for. I am thankful for Panda Express. Man did I have an amazing plate of Madrine chicken today. I'm just not sure where I would go for nasty, cheep, yet delicious Chinese food if panda was not around. It is lame and simple, and almost gross, but man, I have eaten some really nasty things in my life, and so MSG filled panda express is amazing when you are just starving! Thank you Panda.

And so it begins...

2008-11-20T19:34:00.000-08:00

So I'm pretty unfamiliar with the whole "blogging" thing. To be honest i have really never even read a blog before until today. I always knew what they were, but for some reason never was interested in then till now. I read my friend Joe's blog, and I became inspired! I work a ton in an office, and so i find myself with a great amount of time on my hands, enough to post a blog here or there.

Working is kind of my life right now. I work at The Davenport Hotel and Tower. I work in the call center talking on the phone all day making reservations and taking care of guest service requests. Its a real blast... for the most part. I guess my real motivation is the fact that I'm making money and staying busy. School is coming up real here in January, and so I'm trying to make as much as possible before going.

like a month ago i was so sick of being in Spokane, but I have made some amazing friends that have really helped me be happy and content with my life at the present moment. I am not happy about living back at home, but I know its temporary... these guys just make things so much fun, and I really have grown to love these new friends in such a short amount of time. Kelly is so freaking funny, and most times all we do is laugh together. Russanne and I have a very strange cell phone relationship that is going semi-creepy sometimes. Collin is a really cool and humble kid that really treats people great. He's one of those good friends to talk to. Steven is fun guy to hang out with and tell some good mission stories with (cuz most people get real sick of mission stories) Sky is going to school with me this coming January, and he is a blast to hang out with. I'm really excited to spend more time with him down there. Justin is good friend, and really the first person that I met when i started going to church in Spokane. These guys are great, and we spend a huge amount of time together. I really value my friends, and to have such good-hearted people as friends is such a blessing in my life. Joe is another good Friend of mine. We spend most of our time just texting each other... i know its kinda lame but whatever. He's a good friend, and hilarious friend to talk to. I really hope he can make it down to school this coming winter.

Other than that life is good. Just wanted to kind of get things going, and get the feel for this whole blogging thing. I think I'm gunna like it. I promise all my posts will not be this big! PEACE!